Yeah, I know I'm doing brilliantly at this whole posting, and posting useful stuff, but it's me, deal with it. Maybe that's why I haven't been added as a link yet, maybe I'm too boring, or too emotional. I'm such a sucker, I handed in my 2 weeks notice at work, and then what do I do? Agree to stay another week and a half. Why? because I, unlike most people who work there, have a conscience. It was my birthday yesterday! and I got an awesome camera, I would've never asked for it, but it's awesome, and tiny and will be SO cool to take to Italy, and everywhere else I ever go. Incase you haven't noticed, I'm a *bit* obsessive......and random..........spastic...........and CrAzY.........
Anywho..........I also picked up the second volume of the Firefly Companion thingy, haven't had much of a chance to look at it, but it seems very shiny. More on that when I have had time to read it through.
I should really get to bed because I have to work again tomorrow, but I don't really feel like it.
I also feel neglected, I am not something you can just push aside until you're finished what you think is more important. I won't always just sit around waiting for you to be done everything else until you finally have time for me, it doesn't work that way, it shouldn't work that way. I realise I haven't been the most open and agreeable person lately, but that gives you no right to shove me away until you feel you've got nothing more important then to deal with me and all my stupid worthless issues like stress and depression and so many other things that you know. I've been through hell this past week and it's like you couldn't care less. Something needs to change. Everything needs to change. I need to change, but I can't and everyone keeps telling me it's just because I think I can't or whatever, but I've tried, you just don't understand how hard I've bloody tried. It scares me, change, I don't want to leave my job, my house, my friends, because then I have to find somethng new, and I have to meet new people, and be judged, and open up about thing and I'm bad at it, I'm just plain bad at being around people. I feel like I can't trust anybody, and it's awful, it really is and I *wish* I could change, I honesly do, I'm not lying, think what you want, but I'm not, and I've tried, and it's not worked.

I think you've probably had more then enough of my pointless drivel for now, so I'll bid you goodnight, and until next time,
Star